“On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog, and nobody cares whether the stuff you post is crap.” -Julius Caesar
Science fiction author Theodore Sturgeon was once asked “How come 90 percent of science fiction is crap?” to which he replied, “Because 90 percent of everything is crap.” Now known as “Sturgeon’s Law,” that prophetic quote became the best-known thing Mr. Sturgeon ever wrote or said.
Mr. Sturgeon passed away in 1985, well before the Internet arrived to afflict us, and now it’s clear that Mr. Sturgeon underestimated. Back in his day, crappy authors could only get their crappy fiction published with the help of a crappy publisher. Mr. Sturgeon’s work was not crap, it was quite excellent, so he published lots of good stuff. However, in those days it took a whole village of idiots to produce books or movies or music or anything, crappy or otherwise. That barrier kept the crap quotient down to Mr. Sturgeon’s 90 percent figure.
Today there are no boundaries. Every village idiot and their dog can post crap to the Internet and hope it’s discovered by enough like-minded nitwits to become popular.
Here are just a few of the millions of signs proving that 99.9 percent of the Internet is crap:
- Video of a man smoking through his nostril
- 2 million results when you search “twerking” on Youtube
- Justin Bieber
- 60 second ads before 30 second videos
- Most crowdfunding campaigns
- Disgusting photos of Minions
- Facebook game requests
- Shared Internet hoaxes that everyone knows are hoaxes
- Food photographs
- Photos of people covering themselves in peanut butter